Some days I think I might have a pretty good idea of what it’s like to live in an environment where it seems your world is spinning faster and faster and you can’t keep up. Or where you are one of the puppets in the puppet theater and the puppet master is having a hey-day trying out new scenarios and skits. Or where someone else is calling the shots and you’re doing your best to dodge the bullets.
It has seemed to me for eighteen months or so that Mr. Pat and I have been living our lives from one day to the next, in a reactionary or responsive mode. There is a concussion, so there is a brain scan. There is something we didn’t expect to see, so there is an MRI. There is a brain tumor. It’s cancer. So there is radiation and chemotherapy. And more MRIs. The specialists suggest what works best, and we follow their lead. Trusting, knowing, they wouldn’t steer us wrong. Talk about feeling at the mercy of others. Talk about feeling out of control. And helpless. Or losing energy. And compassion. Some days it is really hard to put on my game face and go out and slay the dragons. Or set aside my own what-ifs in order to help another find their hope. But I think we may be experiencing a shift in the wind. It’s beginning to seem that we are less reactionary and are instead more forward thinking. We are asking questions of ourselves and others. We are remembering many fond memories and are making more. We are again, after eighteen months, able to make some plans for the future. We have again found some peace. I cannot tell you why this is, only that it is. I am once again able to breathe in deeply. And exhale fully. And I am grateful. Grace and peace … --Pastor Pat
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